A NASCAR pit crew member steps in to shield a Fox Sports reporter from a 4,000-pound runaway cart, live during a broadcast

SATIRE
ONLY
NOT REAL

DECISION BULLETIN

NASCAR

03 August 2026

FromThe Stewards

ToThe General Public

Document23

CategoryOther Motorsport

Time02:37

The Stewards, having reviewed no evidence, consulted no witnesses, and checked no footage, are nonetheless confident in the following:

Fact A NASCAR pit crew member steps in to shield a Fox Sports reporter from a 4,000-pound runaway cart, live during a broadcast

Decision The Stewards confirm that “pit crew member” job descriptions have, once again, been quietly expanded to include stunt work, personal security, and general disaster prevention — none of which appear anywhere in the official rulebook. The reporter is reported safe. The cart’s motives remain unclear and, as of this bulletin, uninvestigated.

Reason #NASCAR #DecisionBulletin