SATIRE
ONLY
NOT REAL
ONLY
NOT REAL
DECISION BULLETIN
Formula 1
02 August 2026
The Stewards have considered the matter with the seriousness it does not deserve, and determine the following:
Fact
Carlos Sainz reveals ambition to race the 24 Hours of Le Mans and potentially move into GT3 once his Formula 1 career ends
Decision
The Stewards note that "retiring from Formula 1" and "immediately signing up for a 24-hour race" are not, by any reasonable definition, the actions of a man looking for more rest. Sainz is reminded that Le Mans does not award a podium for "seemed relaxed about it," and that GT3 machinery, while slower, is under no obligation to be any less exhausting at four in the morning.
Reason