SATIRE
ONLY
NOT REAL
ONLY
NOT REAL
DECISION BULLETIN
Secto Rally Finland
01 August 2026
The Stewards convened an emergency session for a matter that was, on reflection, not an emergency, and determine the following:
Fact
Home favourite Esapekka Lappi rolls his Hyundai on Friday morning and is eliminated from his own home rally for the rest of the weekend
Decision
The Stewards note that "home advantage" has, once again, proven to be less about knowing the roads and more about the roads eventually finding out where you live. Lappi's rally ends not with a mechanical gremlin or a rival's mistake, but with the car briefly attempting to drive itself upside down, a manoeuvre not currently rewarded under the regulations. The Stewards wish him a speedy return and a stern word with whichever corner was responsible.
Reason