SATIRE
ONLY
NOT REAL
ONLY
NOT REAL
DECISION BULLETIN
IMSA Road America
04 August 2026
The Stewards convened an emergency session for a matter that was, on reflection, not an emergency, and determine the following:
Fact
IMSA Road America: Jack Aitken and Kevin Estre Crash Out Fighting for Second Place
Decision
IMSA officials confirm that Jack Aitken and Kevin Estre's Road America restart crash was, technically, a completely successful overtaking manoeuvre, in the sense that both cars did overtake the position where second place used to exist before violently trading it for a gravel trap. The Stewards have reviewed in-car footage, found nothing resembling restraint from either driver, and ruled that "fighting for the final podium spot" and "fighting to see who stops fighting first" are now, for IMSA purposes, the same competitive category. Both drivers are commended for their commitment to a podium finish that, by the chequered flag, no longer physically existed for either of them. A joint apology to their respective rear bumpers is said to be forthcoming.
Reason