One driver claims pole position for the second time this month; a rival's session is logged in the results as, verbatim, "a disaster"

SATIRE
ONLY
NOT REAL

DECISION BULLETIN

DTM Oschersleben

29 July 2026

FromThe Stewards

ToThe General Public

Document6

CategoryOther Motorsport

Time13:30

The Stewards remind all parties that this document carries no legal weight, moral authority, or basis in fact, and proceed as follows:

Fact One driver claims pole position for the second time this month; a rival's session is logged in the results as, verbatim, "a disaster"

Decision The word "disaster" has been formally adopted as an official race classification, ranking below "DNF" and above "no comment."

Reason #DTM #DecisionBulletin