SATIRE
ONLY
NOT REAL
ONLY
NOT REAL
DECISION BULLETIN
F1 Silly Season
04 August 2026
The Stewards, having reviewed no evidence, consulted no witnesses, and checked no footage, are nonetheless confident in the following:
Fact
Report Claims Max Verstappen and McLaren Have Already Begun Talks
Decision
According to paddock reports, preliminary talks have begun between Max Verstappen and McLaren, in a rumoured move that would send Oscar Piastri the other way to Red Bull. The Stewards note that this would require a four-time world champion to leave the only senior team he has ever driven for, a reigning title contender to walk straight into the team he just left, and absolutely everybody involved to pretend this is a normal Tuesday. Nobody has confirmed anything, which in Formula 1 silly season terms is itself considered a strong confirmation.
Reason