SATIRE
ONLY
NOT REAL
ONLY
NOT REAL
DECISION BULLETIN
Secto Rally Finland
03 August 2026
The Stewards, acting on a tip from no one in particular, have concluded the following:
Fact
Sami Pajari wins Rally Finland by deliberately managing his pace rather than chasing bonus points, delivering Finland’s landmark 200th World Rally Championship victory on home soil
Decision
The Stewards confirm that “deliberately not going as fast as you could” has, once again, proven to be a superior strategy to “going as fast as possible,” a lesson the rest of the field is reminded is available to absolutely everyone, free of charge, at any time. Pajari’s decision to protect a 46-second lead rather than chase the Power Stage has been ruled boring, correct, and entirely unappealable, in that order.
Reason