Formula 1 bulletins | Decision Bulletin

SATIRE
ONLY
NOT REAL

DECISION BULLETIN

Imola Contingency

29 July 2026

FromThe Stewards

ToThe General Public

Document3

CategoryFormula 1

Time14:48

The Stewards were unable to reach a real decision, so they reached a fictional one instead:

Fact Season finale relocation to Imola in December raises conditions never covered by the Sporting Regulations

Decision The Stewards find that a season concluding at Imola in December would expose competitors to circumstances including: ambient temperatures more associated with pre-season testing in Antarctica; Ferrari supporters remaining optimistic despite overwhelming historical evidence; mechanics attempting to fit tyre blankets to themselves; and broadcasters describing 4°C as "ideal racing conditions." No provision exists in the Sporting Code for fitting intermediate tyres to snow. Formula One Management is authorised to proceed with contingency planning. Complaints regarding weather must be submitted within 96 hours of the arrival of spring. No right of appeal exists, because everyone knows it would be funny.

Reason #F1 #DecisionBulletin #Imola #F1Satire

SATIRE
ONLY
NOT REAL

DECISION BULLETIN

F1 Summer Break

29 July 2026

FromThe Stewards

ToThe General Public

Document2

CategoryFormula 1

Time12:51

The Stewards wish to clarify that none of this happened, and yet have still reached the following decision:

Fact FIA-mandated 14-day shutdown catches several engineers audibly relaxing for the first time in 2026

Decision The Stewards confirm the enforced break is functioning exactly as intended, having received multiple reports of team personnel using their weekends for something called "personal time," a phrase several required explaining.

Reason #F1 #SummerBreak #DecisionBulletin

SATIRE
ONLY
NOT REAL

DECISION BULLETIN

Hungarian Grand Prix

29 July 2026

FromThe Stewards

ToThe General Public

Document1

CategoryFormula 1

Time12:31

The Stewards, having reviewed no evidence, consulted no witnesses, and checked no footage, are nonetheless confident in the following:

Fact Blue flag system found to have developed opinions of its own during Hungarian GP

Decision Following a review of the weekend's events, the Stewards can confirm that the blue flag deployment system did not malfunction. It simply decided, independently, that some cars deserved to know they were being lapped more urgently than others. The system has been summoned to explain itself. It has requested legal representation.

Reason #F1 #HungarianGP #BlueFlags #DecisionBulletin #F1Satire